"Witty Quotes" refers to a collection of clever, humorous, or thought-provoking sayings or phrases that often contain a play on words, irony, or sarcasm. These quotes are designed to entertain and engage the audience by offering a fresh perspective on various topics or situations.
Witty quotes are known for their ability to provoke laughter, introspection, or a combination of both, making them popular for use in speeches, presentations, social media posts, and everyday conversations.
Below are various witty quotes with their meanings/explanations;
“We tend to get what we expect.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Everyone has experienced this before. You meet someone new and you think they are really cool. After getting to know them better, you find out that they are exactly like the people you already know. This phenomenon is called 'expectancy bias.' It's when we expect to see things in people or in situations that are based on our own experiences or observations. This can lead us to make wrong assumptions about other people or situations.
“Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one, you must one hundred try.” – Claude Mermet
Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one, you must one hundred try. You have to be patient and search for the right person. Just like with melons, there is a perfect one for everyone. The important thing is to find someone who you can share common interests with and who makes you happy. Friends are the best part of life!
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.” – Richard P. Feynman
The first principle of self-awareness is that you must not fool yourself. This may seem like a simple concept at first, but it is one that can be difficult to adhere to. It is easy to deceive yourself about the things that are important to you, or the way you view your own abilities. As a result, it is important to be aware of the ways in which you are deceiving yourself, and to take steps to prevent it from happening.
“The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” – Charles F. Kettering
Change is the only thing that has brought progress in humanity's history. It has allowed for new inventions, new ways of living, and new ways of thinking. However, many people hate change, because they are used to the way things have always been. Those who resist change often find themselves struggling to keep up with the times. Yet, without change, humanity would stagnate and die.
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. It's not about thinking you can; it's about thinking things through and putting in the hard work.
“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” – Confucius
It's no secret that human beings are constantly evolving and changing. Even the wisest and smartest of people can't help but be influenced by the latest trends or fads. But is this always a good thing? Some people might argue that it's a good thing because it means that humans are constantly growing and learning. Others might say that this constant change can actually be damaging to our psyches. Regardless of what you think, it's undeniable that humans are constantly evolving.
“So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker.” – Holly Hood
The article discusses how people can be emotionally flawed and still love someone. The author says that she is a great multitasker and that she can handle things even when she's emotional.
“Every habit makes our hand more witty, and our wit more handy.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
When we think of habits, we often think of things that are bad for us. We might think about how smoking is bad for our health, or how constantly checking our phone is a waste of time. But there are also good habits that can make our lives easier and improve our quality of life. One such good habit is being witty. Wit helps us communicate better and connect with others, and it can even be useful in business. So why should we develop more wit?
“You can pretend to be serious; but you can’t pretend to be witty.” - Sacha Guitry
If you want to be taken seriously as a writer, don't try to be witty. Wit is an acquired taste and some people just don't have it. You can pretend to be serious and only come across as dry or uninspired. But you can't pretend to be witty and hope to win the reader over.
“Action will destroy your procrastination.” – Og Mandino
Action will destroy your procrastination. Procrastination is a habit that can be hard to break, but it's important to start small and work your way up. Start by taking small actions, then gradually increase the difficulty of the task. If you find yourself struggling to take action, try focusing on why you're doing the task. What are the benefits of completing it? Once you begin to see the benefits of action, it will be easier to keep going.
“When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small.” – Xondra Day
When we die, we are cremated to fit in something small. We are not given a choice in the matter and it is often done without our consent or knowledge.
“Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer.” – Unknown
Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer. Friends know that you're going to have good and bad days and will still be there for you, no matter what. They also know that when it comes to your personal life, you're always allowed to keep some things to yourself. And lastly, friends are the ones who always make time for each other, even if they're not always in the same place.
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only way to have a friend is to be one. What this means is that if you want someone as a friend, you need to be willing to put in the work. You must be willing to go out of your way and become close to that person. It's not easy, but it's the only way to ensure that you'll have a friend for life.
“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.” - Robert Benchley
We humans have always been fascinated by mystery. We have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and we have succeeded fairly well. In some cases this has led to great accomplishments, while in other cases it has simply led to our fascination with the unknown.
“Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, who’s responsible for this?” –Jerry Seinfeld
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? This question has been asked after every tragedy, and it will continue to be asked. It is a valid question, and one that needs to be asked. We need to answer it for ourselves and for our children.
“It is safer to beg than to take, but it is finer to take than to beg.” – Oscar Wilde
Many people believe that it is safer to beg than to take, but this is not always the case. In many cases, taking is actually more dangerous than begging because it can lead to violence or theft. Additionally, begging can be humiliating and depressing, which can make it harder to get by.
“I respect only those who resist me, but cannot tolerate them.” – Charles de Gaulle
Respect is key to any relationship, but in some cases it can be difficult to find the balance between respecting someone and tolerating their behavior. In some cases, it may be difficult to respect someone who resists you or does not agree with your values. It can be challenging to maintain a respectful relationship with someone who does not understand or respect your beliefs or way of life.
“Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long.” –Burt Reynolds
Retirement is supposed to be a time of rest and relaxation, but for many people it's anything but. For years, they've been told by their employers and friends that retirement is wonderful- a time when they can suck in their stomachs for only so long before they start recovering. But for some retirees, the reality isn't quite what they expected. Many find themselves struggling with boredom, depression, and anxiety as they're forced to give up the activities they love.
“Experience was something it was difficult to avoid, though many people had managed to keep it to a minimum.” – Philip José Farmer
Many people try to avoid experiences in their lives. However, it is difficult to do so. The more experience someone has, the more they can learn and the better they can do. Unfortunately, many people try to avoid the experience because it is difficult.
“Though lust do masque in ne’er so strange disguise she’s oft found witty, but is never wise.” - John Webster
Though lust masquerades in strange disguises, oftentimes it is found to be witty. However, lust never truly becomes wise; it is always content with its own desires and illusions.
“To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill
It has been said that to improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often. And while the statement might seem simple enough, it's actually one of the most difficult things to do. Why? Because it requires us to put our ego aside and look at what we're doing from a different perspective. It also requires us to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. But in the end, it's worth it - because being perfect is never really good enough.
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.” - William Shakespeare
In life, it's often best to be a witty fool rather than a foolish wit. Wit is often seen as the key to success, but in reality, it's just one tool in a larger arsenal. Wit can help you get ahead in life, but it can also get in your way. It's important to know when to use wit and when to hold back.
“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.” - Doris M. Smith
Arguing with a fool is pointless, as they are not going to change their mind. It's best to just avoid them altogether and move on.
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers
Shutting up is a skill that everyone should develop. It can be the difference between making a good impression and coming off as boastful or cocky.
“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.” – Erma Bombeck
Dreams are unique and often personal experiences that can be difficult to explain. Some people believe that dreams are only experienced by one person at a time, which is why dreamers are often lonely. Dreams can be a source of inspiration, insight, and comfort.
“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are times when it may be helpful to remember that all life is an experiment. This can help you to be more daring and fearless in the face of potential danger, both for yourself and for others. By approaching life with this mindset, you may find that you take on opportunities that would never have otherwise presented themselves. Additionally, by being open to the possibilities of what could happen, you may feel less afraid and more in control during challenging situations.
“An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. This has been proven time and time again in the real world. Theory is great, but it's nothing without practice. The best way to learn is by doing. That's why I think it's so important for students to get experience in the real world as soon as possible. That's why I believe that every student should have a summer job.
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius
If you love your work, you will never have to work a day in your life
“You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression.” –L.M. Montgomery
The gist of the quote is that once something has been worn, it makes you look sour and unpleasant, which is not a good look.
“Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.” - Antoine Rivarol
The world is filled with witty people who lack talent. This is generally speaking, because wit is a skill that can be learned while talent is something that is innate. Most people who are witty have done some sort of research into what makes a joke funny, whereas most talented people simply have a natural gift for it. Wit also requires practice, which means that most witty people are limited in how often they can use their wit.
“It’s far better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington
Bad company can be really depressing. It can make you feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of loneliness and despair. But being alone is actually better. You'll have more time to do what you want, and you'll have less stress.
“Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated.” - Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Witty proverbs are the backbone of intelligent conversation. They provide guidance on how to behave in various situations and can be used as a form of self-expression. Whether it's remembering an old proverb or coming up with one of your own, these expressions will keep you in good spirits and help you make a memorable impression.
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” – Abraham Lincoln
the key to defeating an enemy was not to fight against him, but to work with him, so that he would become your ally instead.
“Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent, or more learned; yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves.” - Thomas Hobbes
Men pride themselves on their intelligence, and will often claim that there are not many people who are as smart as they are. However, even men can be surprised by the amount of wisdom and knowledge that is out there. Despite this, most men refuse to believe that others have the same level of knowledge and understanding as they do.
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
–Groucho Marx
There is no better way to describe a great evening than to say it wasn't perfect.
“A true friend overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!” – Doug Larson
Friends are the people we can always count on, no matter what. They will never let us down and always have our backs. Unfortunately, many friendships are based on superficiality and fail when one of the friends experiences success or failure. A true friend will overlook your failures and tolerate your success.
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Robert Brault
Growing up with siblings can be a great advantage when it comes to fractions. Not only do you learn how to share and cooperate, but you also develop a better sense of division and proportion. This is because you often have to divide up tasks and resources among yourselves, which forces you to think about these concepts in an abstract way.
“One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.” – Robert Heinlein
Some are very serious, while others are just plain hilarious.
“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.” – Henry Ford
There are many things people use to build their reputations. Some do it through actions and some do it through words. However, the most important thing is that you stand behind your work and what you say. If someone doesn't believe that what you're saying is true or honest, then they won't be inclined to trust or respect you.
“A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being ‘frank’.” – Robert Heinlein
Frank is a person who prides himself on being frank. Unfortunately, this often means that he is not very pleasant to be around. Skunks, on the other hand, are known for their bluntness and no-nonsense attitude. This makes them great company - they won't beat around the bush, and you won't have to waste your time trying to figure out what they're thinking.
“A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves.” – J. Robson Koenig
When you’re always cutting people down with your words, eventually it will catch up to you. You might think that your sharp tongue is a sign of strength, but in the end it will only make you weaker. If you can’t handle constructive criticism, then you definitely won’t be able to take it when someone attacks you verbally. Be careful what words come out of your mouth; they could end up hurting more than helping.
“An intellectual solves a problem. A genius avoids it.” –Albert Einstein
Some people are content with solving problems that have been given to them. They feel a sense of accomplishment when they have figured out how to do something, and they are happy to put their knowledge to use. Other people are not content with being told what to do. They want to figure out the problem on their own, and they refuse to take help from others. This is what makes a genius. A genius is someone who can solve problems that no one else can.
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James
Acting as if what you do makes a difference is one of the most important things you can do to lead a positive and fulfilling life. It may seem like small things, but even the smallest actions can have a big impact on your life. By choosing to act positively, you will automatically attract good things into your life. You will also find that people around you will respond in kind, which will only make your life better.
“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” – John C. Maxwell
The quote has been used in various contexts, such as when encouraging people to take action or when warning them about the dangers of dreaming.
“Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.” – Unknown
Most people hear what they want to hear. Friends listen to what you say, but best friends listen to what you don't say. This is because best friends know that sometimes the things you don't say are the most important ones. They understand that words can't always convey how you feel, and that actions speak louder than words. Best friends are there for you when no one else is, and they'll always be there for you, no matter what.
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” –Oscar Wilde
It has been said that the best way to revenge yourself against someone who has done you harm is to forgive them. People seem to find this sentiment refreshing and often follow it through. Forgiving someone seems to be the best way to put an end to any anger or resentment that may have been building up. It's also something that annoys people so much, which is probably why it works so well!
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.“ –Flip Wilson
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. In fact, missing a few car payments could be the thing that saves your life.
“Wit is the lowest form of humor.” - Alexander Pope
Humor is a very important part of life. It can make a difficult situation more manageable, or even turn it into a good one. Wit is the lowest form of humor and is often used to insult or make fun of someone. While it can be lighthearted and entertaining, wit should only be used when necessary, and never at someone's expense.
“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people seem bright until they talk!” – Unknown
This is a wise statement because it is often the case that we see and hear things before someone has had a chance to explain them to us. This is why some people seem bright until they talk. They have already shared their ideas with us and we have had the opportunity to process them.
“Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.” - Enid Blyton
When it comes to our relationships, we often make the mistake of thinking that leaving something for someone is the same thing as leaving them. But, in fact, leaving something for someone is a much better way to go than leaving them. Why? Well, because it takes the focus off of ourselves and puts it on the other person. It shows that we care about them and want them to be happy. And, ultimately, that’s what matters most in a relationship.
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” –Salvador Dali
Perfectionism can have a really negative effect on our lives, but don't worry, you'll never reach it.
“Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make. In fact, it's the most likely to result in us becoming unhappy and stressed.
“A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.” - George Meredith
There is no doubt that a witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power. A well-spoken woman can disarm an opponent with her wit, while a beautiful woman can command attention and respect with her intelligence. Wit is an essential tool for any woman, whether she is single, in a relationship, or married. It can help her in business, social circles, and even with family relationships.
“A witty saying proves nothing.” – Voltaire
Witty sayings can be entertaining and help to pass the time. However, sometimes they are nothing more than empty words. Here are five examples of clever sayings that don't actually prove anything.
“Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.” – Howard Aiken
An idea is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it can be one of the most powerful tools that you have as an entrepreneur. If you've got an original idea, don't worry about people stealing it. The more people that know about it, the better. And if someone does steal your idea, don't worry - you'll have to ram it down their throats anyway.
“The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” – Michaelangelo
The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed. This is a problem because it creates an illusion of control and can lead to disappointment when things do not go our way. As humans, it is important to aim high and be ambitious, but also be realistic in our expectations so that we do not become disillusioned when things do not work out as planned.
“The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.” – Josh Lanyon
A life spent reading is a life well spent, but it can also be a life full of knowledge and experience that can be dangerous if not used wisely.
“Arguing with a fool proves there are two.” – Doris M. Smith
If you find yourself engaging in an argument with someone who is clearly uninformed and foolish, it might be helpful to remember there are two sides to every story. The only way to win an argument with a fool is to have more knowledge than they do.
“Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others.” - Otto von Bismark
It's a truism that fools learn from experience, and wise men learn from the experience of others. Certainly, the more time you spend in the world, the more you'll realize this is true. It's why we often see people make the same mistakes over and over again. They've learned from their previous experiences.
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.” –Bill Cosby
Advice is usually given to the wise, but it's the stupid ones who really need it. Some people think that because they are smart, they don't need advice. This couldn't be further from the truth. If you want to be successful in life, you need to learn how to listen to and take advice from others. Advice is something that can help you make better decisions and improve your life.
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.” – Len Wein
A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else. A friend will listen to your concerns, offer support, and be there for you no matter what. A friend will also be there to laugh with you and make you feel better when times are tough. Friends are the people who make life worth living.
“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
If you work diligently for eight hours each day, you may one day get the opportunity to work twelve hours a day. This is the dream of many people, but it is not an easy task. To be successful in this endeavor, you must be organized and have a good work ethic. You also need to be able to handle more responsibility and stress.
“A technicality I’m prepared to hide wildly behind.” – Jim Butcher
The quote is often used as a way of justifying something that the speaker or the person they are speaking to may not be happy about, but is still willing to go along with because it is technically legal.
“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.” –Oliver Goldsmith
People often fib to make themselves look good in front of others. However, there are some things that people just don't want to know, and it's best not to pry.
“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” - Francis Bacon
Anger is a powerful emotion and can be used to make people witty. However, anger can also lead to financial problems because it makes people less careful with their money.
“Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert.” – Dennis Sharpe
It is a witty and wise statement that speaks to the importance of being able to mask one's true feelings in order to achieve desired results. While it may take some moments to learn how to effectively fake care, it can take a lifetime to master the skill.
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. This is because memories are based on lies. By telling the truth, you can erase any and all memories of falsehoods. The benefits of this are endless; you can be more truthful in your relationships, learn new things more easily, and have a better memory overall.
“It is astonishing how long it takes to finish something you are not working on.” – Unknown
It is astonishing how long it takes to finish something you are not working on. You start out with great intentions, but the more time you spend on something else, the less time you have for your original goal. It is easy to get sidetracked and lose focus.
“I don’t miss him; I miss who I thought he was.” – Unknown
sometimes, what we miss the most is not who people are, but who we thought they were.
“A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.” - Cyrano de Bergerac
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man. It is also a sign of a good sense of humor and good communication skills.
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead
Everyone is unique in their own way and that is what makes them special. You should never forget this and try to be like anyone else because it's impossible. You must embrace your uniqueness and use it to your advantage. Always remember that you are one of a kind, and no one else can do what you do.
“Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.” – William Congreve
When two people meet and start dating, they may think that courtship is all about wooing one another with witty conversation and charming smiles. In reality, courtship can be a very witty prologue to a very dull play. Of course, there are moments of excitement and romance, but the bulk of the time courtship is mundane and routine. Couples go on dates, they talk about their feelings, and they cuddle and kiss.
“The important thing to remember is not to forget.” – Benny Bellamacina
Memories are a vital part of our lives. They help us to connect with the past, and to remember important events. But, sometimes, memories can be difficult to recall. That's why it's important to keep a memory diary. This will help you to remember all of the important things that have happened in your life, and it will make it easier for you to relive these memories.
“Your wit makes others witty.” - Catherine the Great
People with wit make others feel welcome and comfortable. Wit is often used to express opinions in a witty way, and this can lead to interesting discussions. Wit makes people smarter, and it can be used as an effective tool for communication.
“The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.” – John Foster Dulles
The most important thing is that the problem remains the same."
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Life is just a series of moments where you make decisions and deal with the consequences. But we try to make everything so complicated that we forget to enjoy the simple things in life.
“Many people have a good aim in life, but for some reason they never pull the trigger.” – Unknown
Many people have a good aim in life, but for some reason they never pull the trigger. This could be because they are scared of failure, or they don't believe in themselves. However, there are ways to overcome these fears and get over the hump.
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” – Rita Mae Brown
It's been said that one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. After all, we can't spend our lives dwelling on the past, worrying about what might have been.
“Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.” - William Congreve
When two people meet and start dating, they may think that courtship is all about wooing one another with witty conversation and charming smiles. In reality, courtship can be a very witty prologue to a very dull play. Of course, there are moments of excitement and romance, but the bulk of the time courtship is mundane and routine. Couples go on dates, they talk about their feelings, and they cuddle and kiss.
“Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” – Ralph Charell
The ability to think independently is a valuable skill. It can help us solve problems, make decisions, and come up with new ideas.
“My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend to repeat them.” – Lisa Kleypas
People make mistakes all the time. Although some mistakes may be embarrassing or frustrating, others can be downright hilarious. And, in fact, some people seem to love making mistakes more than anything else.
“A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.” - Christian Louboutin
it's a great way to sum up all of the different ways that women can be attractive.
“A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn’t implement any of it.” – Michael Bassey Johnson
When we surround ourselves with people and information that matches our own opinions and biases, we are less likely to critically assess the information we receive. In some cases, this can lead us down destructive paths.
“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” – Wayne Dyer
The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about. Ignorance kills more people than anything else, and it's the root cause of a lot of our problems. We need to be careful not to let it win, and we need to learn as much as we can so that we can make good decisions.
“Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.” - Stan Laurel
Humor is the truth. Wit is an exaggeration of the truth. Humor has the ability to make the mundane seem interesting, and the extraordinary seem commonplace. Wit has the power to take something seriously and make it lighthearted, exposing absurdity where there might be none. Both humor and wit are essential ingredients in a successful life, and can help us navigate through difficult times.
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