"Funny dog quotes" encapsulate the witty and humorous observations made about our beloved four-legged companions. These quotes capture the amusing antics and endearing idiosyncrasies that dogs bring into our lives.
Whether it's their comical expressions, mischievous behavior, or unconditional loyalty, these quotes serve as a lighthearted reminder of the joy and laughter that dogs can bring to our everyday existence. From famous authors to anonymous dog lovers, "funny dog quotes" celebrate the unique and entertaining nature of our furry friends, making us appreciate the delightful moments shared with them even more.
Below are various funny dog quotes with their meanings/explanations;
“I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.” – Unknown
A dog lover reflects on what she envisions life would be like as an adult. She would be lying in the sun, with a pet who would bring her snacks. Instead of working, she would relax and watch TV. In short, this dog lover sees life as a dog does - enjoying the present moment.
“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” – Bonnie Schacter
Often when people are looking for a partner, the first thing that comes to mind is whether or not the person is compatible with them. For one woman, this was not the case when she decided not to date a guy because he wasn't interested in her dog. She explained to The Independent that meeting her dog was "the equivalent of meeting my mother." This perspective shows how important it is for us as humans to feel connected to those around us, especially those that are important to us.
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” – Ann Landers
Many people love their dogs dearly and take any compliment their dog gives them as proof that they are a great person. However, dogs cannot accurately judge human emotions, so the compliments your dog gives you may not actually be indicative of how you're performing in their eyes. Dogs rely more on body language and facial expressions to communicate with humans, so it's important to not take the admiration of your furry friend as a sign that you're doing a good job.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
There's something about a good book that can make even the harshest of days a little more bearable. Whether you're curled up on the couch with a novel or taking a walk in the park with your furry friend, having a book nearby is always appreciated. But what about when it's too dark to read? That's where dogs come in, as they're perfect for reading outside in the sunlight.
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” – Anne Tyler
Many people never consider what their dogs must think of them when they come home with a grocery store haul. Dogs are incredibly observant and intelligent animals, so it's safe to say that they must be thinking something along the lines of "Wow, this person is really good at hunting." Dogs likely see humans as their pack members and appreciate any sign of loyalty or support from their owners.
“It all started when my dog began getting free rollover minutes.” – Jay London
T The quote is often misquoted because people don't understand the difference. This misunderstanding can lead to incorrect conclusions, such as believing that black holes have a limit on how large they can get.
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” – Marilyn Monroe
In reality, dogs can and do bite humans. However, the vast majority of bites by dogs are on people other than their owners. That's why it's important to learn how to protect yourself from dog bites - whether you're a human or canine victim.
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” – Rita Rudner
Poodles have a reputation for being gentle and sweet, but some people may wonder if other dogs think poodles are part of a weird religious cult. It seems that many people believe that poodles are one of the chosen breeds, and they often attribute this to the fact that poodles have pointy ears. Some people even believe that poodles were purposely bred to have these features so that they could be associated with witchcraft and magic.
“Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” – Elizabeth Taylor
Leading men can come in all shapes and sizes- but one of my favorite types is the dog or horse. They're loyal, courageous and always seem to know what to do.
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” – John Grogan
Dogs are great. They've been man's best friend for centuries and have helped us through some tough times. But there are bad dogs out there, too. We're talking about the kind of dogs that make you cringe, the ones that are mean and vicious.
“If our dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either.” – Unknown
Dogs have been man's best friend for centuries, and for good reason. They are loyal animals that love spending time with their owners. However, there are some dogs who don't seem to enjoy being around people and may not be the best choice for a pet.
“Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other, ‘Do we take a dog or do we walk home?’” – Unknown
Despite the question seeming like an easy decision, the two fleas aren't quite sure. After debating for a bit, they decide to walk home and leave their dog behind. This decision may not have been the best one, as they soon find out.
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” – Joe Weinstein
A lot of people's dogs are worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. People are wondering if their dog is spending too much money, and if so, what they can do to stop it.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley
Dogs have been known to teach children valuable life lessons. One such lesson is the importance of fidelity, perseverance, and turning around three times before lying down. These are all values that a dog can teach a young boy, and they'll be especially important later in life when relationships become more complicated.
“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Unknown
If there's one thing we've learned from training dogs, it's that they're great problem-solvers. So if you find yourself in a sticky situation, try following these tips to handle things like a canine champ. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away!
“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” – Unknown
People often trust their dogs to guard their homes, but never trust them with their food. This is not only dangerous, but also a bad habit to get into. Dogs are natural scavengers and will quickly snatch up anything that is edible. This could mean your sandwich is left unattended. Be sure to keep your food safe by keeping it in a secure location or making sure your dog can't access it.
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” – Helen Thomson
There's a reason why dogs always seem to know when their owners are about to eat: They're incredibly adaptive animals. Studies have shown that dogs can remember the locations of food even days after it's been removed from the scene. That's why if you're planning on taking your own lunch to work, you might want to reconsider - not only will your dog be upset, but he may also start stealing your snacks.
“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” – Unknown
He's a friendly pup and loves attention, but he'll let you know if you're getting too close or making him nervous. Just be respectful and everything will be fine!
“If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.” – Unknown
That's according to one expert who says that dogs are rarely able to stay put and are always moving around, which means they can mess up your furniture or worse. So if you're looking for a comfortable place to sit, your best bet is to keep your furry friend away from the furniture.
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wears a tail.” – Fran Lebowitz
Dogs have been around for centuries, and even though they may not understand human words, they instinctively know what it means to wear a sweater. So if your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, you should probably suggest that he wears a tail - just to be on the safe side!
“To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that’s out of service.” – Unknown
Under normal conditions, a hydrant is one of the most reliable sources of water for a dog. But when something goes wrong with it, such as a burst pipe, a hydrant can be like a bathroom that's out of service. To make matters worse, many dogs are unfamiliar with the concept of emergency water supplies and will not stop trying to drink from the hydrant even if it's not working.
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” – Unknown
No matter how much money you have, there is always room for a new puppy. If you can't afford a puppy, there are plenty of other options available, such as adopting one from a shelter or getting one from a friend or family member. Puppies are known to bring happiness into people's lives and they make great companions.
“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry Truman
Dogs are great companions and can provide a lot of companionship in Washington. Not only are they loyal and loving, but they're also intelligent and require very little maintenance. If you're looking for a friend in Washington, consider getting a dog.
“A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.” – Barack Obama
Many people think of shelter dogs as purebreds, but that's not always the case. Shelter dogs come from all kinds of backgrounds and many are mutts like me. Mutts make great pets because they're unpredictable and full of energy. They're also good for teaching other animals about manners. If you're considering adopting a mutt, be sure to check out your local shelter first.
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. They are more likely to forgive and forget, spend more time with their families, and be less likely to hurt someone else. Some believe that the canine temperament is due to herding behavior where they constantly have to work together in a pack, which has taught them how to get along well with others. Dogs also display empathy for others, which may account for why they are often seen as friendly creatures.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” – Phil Pastoret
Dogs can't count, right? Wrong! Dogs can very easily learn to count using a technique called "subitizing." This is when dogs perceive small numbers quickly and accurately. In this experiment, three dog biscuits were put in the pocket of a dog and only two were given to the dog. The dog was then asked to choose which biscuit was missing. The dog correctly chose the biscuit that had been withheld from it.
“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.” – Unknown
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. Obesity in dogs is a major problem that can be prevented by making sure they get plenty of exercise. Even a short walk will do the trick, so try to make time for a walk with your furry friend every day. If your dog is obese, you might also need to take them to see a vet to help them lose weight and improve their health.
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant. – John Peer
In America, it is common to see dogs playing by the side of the road next to fire hydrants. It is not just a cute sight, but also a necessary one. Fire hydrants are essential for keeping neighborhoods and towns safe. If you see a dog playing near a fire hydrant, never try to get in between them. The water from the hydrant could easily splash onto the dog and create a dangerous situation.
“In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.” – Unknown
Dogs are trained to specifically seek out these types of smells, so if you are lost in an avalanche or hurricane, chances are good that your furry friend will be able to save your life.
“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.” – James Thurber
Dogs have always had a special place in people's hearts, and for good reason. They are loyal companions, always there to offer a smile and a lick on the cheek. And perhaps no animal is more endearing than a dog who has spent his or her life by your side. If there's one thing we can be sure of, it's that dogs will be around when we're gone - they go to heaven, right? Well, not so fast.
“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.” – Dave Barry
Dogs have been known to bark ferociously at nothing, right in the ear of their owners. This behavior, which is often seen as cute or amusing by humans, can actually be dangerous and destructive when done excessively. Dogs are pack animals, and when they are close to their owner, they feel a strong sense of responsibility to protect them. This instinct can override their fear of danger and result in them barking at nothing in order to protect their human.
“Everything I know I learned from dogs.” – Nora Roberts
Dogs have been trusted companions to humans for centuries, and for a good reason. They are loyal and dependable animals who, when trained properly, can be incredibly helpful both on a personal and professional level.
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” – Charlotte Gray
Dogs crave affection more than they crave food, according to a study published in the journal Animal Cognition. Researchers found that when dogs are shown photos of people either petting or not petting the dog, they show a stronger preference for the petting images. This suggests that dogs may prefer affection over food because it provides security and helps to regulate their emotions.
“No home decor is complete without dog hair.” – Unknown
Most people think that dog hair is only found on furniture and carpets, but it can also be found on curtains, upholstery, and even walls. If you want your home decor to be complete, you need to add some dog hair too! Some people say that dog hair is a natural fiber, and it has a nice smell.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.” – Jean Ferris
Dogs are known for their love of humans and their ability to be loyal companions. They are also known for being very intelligent, and for their ability to sense emotions in people. However, one of the things that dogs often miss is the point. This is because dogs are focused on what they are doing, rather than on what the person is saying or doing.
“Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative.” – Unknown
Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative. From bulldogs to shih tzus, there are dozens of dog breeds to choose from, and each one comes with its own set of behavioral quirks. Whether you're looking for a loyal companion or an energetic playmate, it's important to consider your individual needs when selecting your pup.
“It was me. I let the dogs out.” – Unknown
In this quote, he is admitting that it was their fault that the dogs got out. This admission can show that they are sorry for what happened and want to make things right.
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” – Franklin P. Jones
There's no denying that dogs offer a unique set of skills and abilities that can be put to use in a variety of settings. Whether you're a pet sitter, dog walker, or simply need someone to keep an eye on your furry friend while you're out, these four-legged friends are always in high demand. If you're interested in starting your own canine career, there are a few things you need to know first.
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” – Sian Ford
Dogs can teach us a great lesson in life. They always seem to know when something is wrong and will usually try to help their owner. One such story involved a mailman who was not to be trusted.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” – Charles De Gaulle
People often say that the more they get to know dogs, the more they love them. And while it's not quite that simple with people, it is definitely true when it comes to our furry friends. One of the reasons for this is that we can see so much of ourselves in them. We share similar emotions and behaviors, which makes us feel closer to them. In addition, dogs provide us with countless hours of joy and happiness.
“Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” – Unknown
They're addicting and you can't stop at just one. The same goes for dogs; you can't just have one. They're an essential part of life and you can't survive without them. Whether it's a family pet or a working dog, dogs are always there for you, no matter what.
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” – Kristan Higgins
When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away and then tries to sit on your lap, it's hard to feel sad. But when you look into that furry face and realize that this is just one more example of the unconditional love of a pet, it's easy to forgive and forget.
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.” – Unknown
Some people believe that having a dog is a responsibility and not a right. They think that the dog should work for its food and shelter, just like a human. These people are called "dog owners." Others believe that dogs are special creatures and they should be given everything they want, including food and shelter.
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield
When one spouse consistently breaks a major rule in the relationship, it can be hard to stay married. However, some couples manage to weather the storm and remain together strong. One couple who has struggled with this is the husband and wife quoted in the article. The husband says that his wife kisses the dog on the lips but won't drink from his glass, which creates tension in their marriage. Despite this, they still try to make it work.
“I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn’t want to learn another language just to have a dog.” – Unknown
There are many reasons people might choose a German Shepherd as their dog, but one of the most common is that these dogs make great family companions. Not only are they loyal and devoted, but also intelligent and hardworking. One downside to owning a German Shepherd is that they require a lot of training; if you don't want to learn another language just to have a dog, this might not be the breed for you.
“My dog is half pit-bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip.” – Craig Shoemaker
One might expect a breed like a pit bull to be a fierce watchdog, but one dog's ferocious guard dog is another's gossiping friend. That's the case with many pit bulls, who have both guardian and friendly personalities. Some pit bulls are even half-breeds, like my dog, who is a mix of pit bull and poodle. She's not much of a watchdog, but she's vicious when it comes to gossiping.
“Dogs do speak but only to those who know how to listen.” – Orhan Pamuk
Dogs do speak but only to those who know how to listen. Sure, they may make noises and occasionally bark, but unless you take the time to understand what they are trying to tell you, you'll miss out on all the wonderful communication that is taking place between your furry friend and you.
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Unknown
People who live in developed countries often take for granted the convenience of having their dogs walk them and clean up after them. However, in less affluent or rural areas, this type of interaction between people and animals is not as common. For people living in these types of communities, it can be difficult to understand who is in charge - humans or aliens.
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” – Dave Barry
There's a reason why you can say any foolish thing to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" The canine mind is filled with endless possibilities and, as a result, provides us with endless amusement. Whether it's our canine friends coming up with new games or simply providing comic relief, we owe them our gratitude for always making us laugh.
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.” – Franklin P. Jones
Soap is one of the most commonly used cleaning agents in the world. Most people know what it smells like, but many don't realize that soap can also have a strong scent. When soap is used to wash a dog, it can leave behind a strong soap taste that may not be desirable for some.